enjoythe_ride | beyond the rift } { locked from John and the Crowbar

Current Mood: nervous

beyond the rift } { locked from John and the Crowbar

[she tries to write this as anonymously as possible, but the detail-oriented could probably figure it out]

I have a few questions about guardian angels, and their Callings, if there's someone who doesn't mind answering.

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What would you like to know?

I'm a wanderer. My name is Martha Jones, and I have had a guardian for over a year now. Before that, I learned quite a bit about all the callings including guardians from the First Angel that initially put the wanderer-saving efforts into place.

Anything, really. I haven't been in Chicago long, so I haven't really had time to do my homework beyond personal anecdote.

Lets see... we had met previously but it wasn't until after the Conrad hotel (former place for Wanderers) was destroyed by a Rift opening up that he looked me in the eye and became my guardian. I frankly wasn't happy at all about the fact for multiple reasons, but primarily because his death or insanity would come when I died. However, I knew that it was important to work with him. It wasn't his choice or mine so it was difficult but necessary to try not to fight against him. Not to say that I didn't fight later on when he was trying to help me and I didn't want to be helped. Still.

Any extreme emotion that you have they'll feel it too and know you're feeling it. If you're hurt, physically hurt or emotionally hurt, they will feel that pain too and be desperate to fix it or to help. If you're in danger, they know it and they will be there wherever that is. They can find you.

I think it varies with the link, but they don't have to feel absolutely everything. My guardian can block out most of my emotions so they're just something he senses behind a wall like static. Some have to live in the same building and others can simply live in the same city as their ward. I know he feels guilty when he feels he can't help me, and he can't help feeling that guilt as all his instincts are saying that he should be helping me.

He saved my life multiple times. More importantly, he saved me from becoming someone I never wanted to be and saved me from losing myself. He's made me a better person, and I consider him family now, but it took me a long time to adjust to the idea.

Are there any specific concerns that you have that I could help address?

That sounds a bit like mine -- or my situation at least. We've been friends for months, but for some reasons things recently -- changed.

[there's a pause, with a dot of ink forming on the page as she thinks]

Is there any rhyme or reason as to who's chosen for who?

There has been quite a lot of Rift activity lately both with the week where everyone was getting sick and the flood. If there's a rather large scale disaster in Chicago, you can bet that the Rift's fluctuated.

I don't know.

Honestly. Sometimes I think there is, but I've heard of cases where there couldn't be any rhyme or reason to it. Cases where it was practically a child attached to someone much, much older and more experienced. Cases where a guardian had to help someone who exploited the link. I don't know if there's rhyme or reason to that.

But I have seen more cases where it seems like the guardian and the ward fit. In a way that I can't put to words. They're who that ward needed at that time or even who the guardian needed. Sometimes both.

I just don't know what to do with any of this. I'm not the sort of person who seeks out other people for this sort of thing.

[understatement of the DECADE]

There's not much that you can do with it, I'm afraid. You find a way to accept it and make the best out of it for you both. It's all that you can do. You can't stop it and you can't change it.

You can try fighting it every step of the way but you'll just end up exhausted and it will still be there. It's a theme in this city. Lack of choice.

I'm starting to get bloody sick of it.

I'm Wes Gannon. I'm a guardian and I can answer any questions you have, but I'd like to put a disclaimer on here. Every Calling affects the person differently. It always depends on the person and the link between guardian and ward.

Can I ask your experience?

Course you can.

I've had two wards, and both of those experiences have been different in their own way. Both times, the woman in question has been independent and self-sufficient, so you can imagine they did not... take well to the idea of having a guardian.

It's understandable. I tried to give them as much space as needed.

There are ways of adjusting from either end. I try to give my ward as much privacy as she needs. I put up mental blocks so I don't feel what she's feeling all the time. But if her life's in danger, I rush into the fray. I protect her at all costs. That can't be helped.

What if she doesn't think she deserves to be protected?

I don't believe anyone is undeserving of it. But even if that's what she believed, I'm afraid the Rift doesn't leave them with much choice.

I'm getting that feeling.

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