enjoythe_ride | beyond the rift } { public

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beyond the rift } { public

My real name is Abigail Winters.

I sold my soul to kill my parents when I was fourteen.

I let the few people that know think I did it for the money, but in reality my father abused me from the time I was a little girl. I just wanted to get away. I tried telling people, but no one ever believed me, so when the demon offered me the chance out, I took it without realizing the consequences.

Selling your soul gets you ten years. After those ten years, the hellhounds come and tear you to shreds looking to carry your soul to Hell. If I hadn’t fallen through the Rift, I would be dead right now.

I don’t trust anyone—not even my guardian. Which is a bit ridiculous when you think about it, because of all the people you should trust, you think it would be the person who is programmed to be there for you and protect you, but honestly? My father took advantage of me. My own mother couldn’t keep me safe. My savoir condemned me, and the people who actually could help me, hate me.

I’m going to get him killed, not because I want to, but because I’m already living on borrowed time as it is, and it’s only a matter of time before Lilith comes to collect on my debts.

No matter how much bravado I may put out there, I don’t want to die.

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[Bela Talbot is the kind of woman who carries her secrets like Fort Knox. She bottles them all inside herself and doesn’t let them out for anything. It doesn’t matter who you are or how much she likes you, she doesn’t tell. Ever.

She doesn’t want the pity, or the sympathy. She doesn’t want you to tell her that you’re sorry. She just wants to get what she needs from you, then get out.

But here, she doesn’t have a chance. It’s all out there, everything she holds in too close, and it’s not freeing, or cathartic by any sense of the word. In fact, all it does is suck the air out of her, her chest tightening until she feels she can’t breathe. She tries to get it to go away, locking it, tearing out the page, blacking it out, and nothing is working, and with each try the panic tightens inside her, the tears starting to come without her even realizing that it was happening. She’ll even get to the point where she’s setting the damn thing on fire with her ability, up until it was burning too hot for her to hold onto it, and was singeing the edges of her fingers.

She exhales with a cry before tossing the journal into the fountain in Grant Park. She stays seated on the bench, gripping the edges of the seat and trying to remember how to breathe again. Sorry, people who reply on journal, it’s going to take her a while to get there.]

[Augh. John does not even know how to start answering this, not when he can feel just how well--or not well--she is taking it. It's a while before he can think straight, and even then, he is at so much of a loss as to how to approach this. Any of it.]

It doesn't have to be that way.

There's no Lilith in this world and even in the offchance there somehow was, your being here's a gamechanger.

[since her journal was ... pretty much toasted, it'll be a pretty long time before she actually responds to this. She has to actually sleep first and ... that could take a while. Avoidance is her middle name. But she will read it eventually, and try to find something to say that isn't completely defeated]

I don't have that kind of luck.

You ended up here before Lilith could collect, didn't you?

I'd say that's pretty good timing.

[pause]

For the record, I don't expect you to magically trust me. I know trust isn't something you just hand over, even if I am your guardian.

A person can't cheat death forever. And I've already found my way out of it twice.

I'm pretty sure on the third strike, you don't win.

[a long pause]

~~I know you~~

[there's another pause and after a moment]

I want to.

If it comes to that, we'll find a way out of it, okay?

It's different here. There are things and people and loopholes here there weren't in your world. You're not alone with this.

[Fwah, a not-so-long pause]

And I want you to. I just know it won't happen overnight.

It's something we gotta build, and I'm willing to put in the time.

... I'm not used to having time.

Doesn't mean you can't have it now.

I know. I'm still adjusting to the idea.

Anything I can do?

[she's quiet for a long time, before responding]

Be patient?

I can do that.

And wine. I've got lots of wine in my arsenal.

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lefttogive.livejournal.com - 2011-08-27 03:52 (UTC) - Expand

I don't think anyone does, not really.

You're braver than I would be, though. I don't think I would be able to do much of anything with that hanging over me. So, you are very brave, and that's good.

And maybe when this Lilith person comes, all your friends can help you kick her ass. Weirder things have happened here. :)

[again, she doesn't get to this until much later, and she really isn't sure what to tell her]

Thank you. Maybe you're right.

[when Parker sees this, she freezes up. The kind of freezing where she doesn't know what to say or think or feel, and all she wants to do is stab something. Or someone. Or a couple of someones. With a dull spork. Thaaaat would be fun....

Achem.

She's been keeping to herself all week, ever since her own entry, and she's trying to stay away from the journal in hopes she doesn't write more, but she can't help and watch it. See what other people are saying.

She doesn't like this one. At all. Because she cares. And she doesn't want to care. Because the world hurts, a lot, and apparently it hurts to see it hurting the people you care about. And she doesn't know what to do with that.

She thinks about replying, but she remembers how she didn't really want to talk to anyone when it was her. But Bela talked to her then, Bela wanted to help her, and she wants to be good like that and help back. She thinks about going to see Bela, and she doesn't know what she's supposed to say to make it better. She knows words can't do that.

It's awhile, but eventually she goes to Bela's room. She's not there. She goes several other places she thinks Bela might be, and she's not there. Finally she ends up at the fountain, where they've spent a lot of time together, and she sees Bela.

She still isn't too sure what to say, and she knows if it were her she wouldn't want to talk just yet, so....she sits down on the bench beside Bela's. And she looks up at the fountain. And she waits. Quietly.]

[it takes Bela a moment to realize that someone else is even there, and when she does finally turn to look and sees Parker, she isn't entirely sure what to do. Yes, Parker is her friend, and yes, she's probably just trying to do the right thing, but she doesn't know what to say beyond ... ]

Parker?

[Parker still doesn't know what to say either. Not one bit. She's quiet for awhile and takes a deep breath, her eyes still on the fountain..]

Did...did you know the design of the fountain is based on the Bassin de Latone at the Versailles Palace? It's been here since 1927 and it's one of the largest fountains in the world.

[smiles softly at that, because really -- she'd rather talk about anything else at all]

No, I didn't.

[she nods, her eyes still on the fountain, and her hands slip under her thighs]

It cost $750,000 to make.

That's relatively cheap for a fountain.

[and her lips finally tip up, just a bit, as she glances over]

Except it was over eighty years ago. That was more then.

[chuckles]

That is true.

[smirks, then looks down again, still trying to think of the right thing to say.]

[just sinks in the silence, feeling herself start to unclench, and breathing gets a little easier]

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...she got long-winded, I apologize

<3 it's all good

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