Bela Talbot (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
enjoythe_ride) wrote2015-01-30 02:44 pm
enjoythe_ride) wrote2015-01-30 02:44 pm
behind the hollow } { yes our past is wretched, true, but i'm still in love with you
[Prompt #40. Breakdown. Written for saved. IDK when this is set timeline wise, but this is what came to me.]
[♫ Better Days ~ Amos Lee]
Winchesters tend to live their life frayed at the edges.
Bela learns that about them early on. They’re pulled apart in all directions, duty and family and survival all rolled into one. Choosing any one side means losing a part of themselves, conceding a piece of them to the demons they battle on a regular basis, and there’s no real winner. Hell keeps rising and with each day the world becomes a little more frayed at the edges, and it’s all part of the struggle to try and keep themselves together before they fall apart completely.
Dean manages by drinking. He tries to hold on to his resolute, black and white world (save for Sam, he sacrifices everything for Sam), unwilling to lose himself completely in shades of gray. Bela always lived in the gray, having sacrificed her morals long ago for whatever it takes to keep herself alive. Sam, on the other hand, doesn’t do well in the in-betweens. His experience and his own personal demons won’t allow him to live his life in black and white, as much as he may scramble to keep purchase there, but his heroic ideals aren’t meant for the gray areas in between.
He tries to take things at face value, but trust isn’t a luxury they can afford. Sam all but gives it away sometimes, and she isn’t sure if it’s out of desperation or determination, but it’s not something she can understand either way. For Bela, trust is something that’s earned, and her bar is set so high that some may never reach it. She sits on her trust and her secrets like a dragon, not inclined to share because sharing it gives that person power over her, and she won’t be in that place again. Not after everything she lost to get out from under that last proverbial thumb.
Problem is, Bela loves Sam. How and when and why this happened is yet to be seen, but she does. He has more power over her than he’ll ever realize, and more than he’d ever use. That’s part of the reason why she loves him, even if he’ll never know it.
Because she loves Sam, the first tether to something real that she’s had in a long time, she does things she wouldn’t normally do. Takes risks she wouldn’t normally take. Turn down jobs she wouldn’t normally turn down. She plays less fast and loose with her own life and the lives of others and opts for the good rather than the advantage. Because she loves Sam, she finds herself thinking about the right thing to do, rather than weighing for the beneficial option.
Because she loves Sam, when he arrives at her door looking like he doesn’t know who to trust, and the world is making it too hard for him to find that right road again, she gives him something he can trust.
It’s a little ironic, but for some reason they both sleep better. The irony isn’t entirely lost on them, but then again, they’ve always been the type where it never really was.
516 words
saved. IDK when this is set timeline wise, but this is what came to me.]Winchesters tend to live their life frayed at the edges.
Bela learns that about them early on. They’re pulled apart in all directions, duty and family and survival all rolled into one. Choosing any one side means losing a part of themselves, conceding a piece of them to the demons they battle on a regular basis, and there’s no real winner. Hell keeps rising and with each day the world becomes a little more frayed at the edges, and it’s all part of the struggle to try and keep themselves together before they fall apart completely.
Dean manages by drinking. He tries to hold on to his resolute, black and white world (save for Sam, he sacrifices everything for Sam), unwilling to lose himself completely in shades of gray. Bela always lived in the gray, having sacrificed her morals long ago for whatever it takes to keep herself alive. Sam, on the other hand, doesn’t do well in the in-betweens. His experience and his own personal demons won’t allow him to live his life in black and white, as much as he may scramble to keep purchase there, but his heroic ideals aren’t meant for the gray areas in between.
He tries to take things at face value, but trust isn’t a luxury they can afford. Sam all but gives it away sometimes, and she isn’t sure if it’s out of desperation or determination, but it’s not something she can understand either way. For Bela, trust is something that’s earned, and her bar is set so high that some may never reach it. She sits on her trust and her secrets like a dragon, not inclined to share because sharing it gives that person power over her, and she won’t be in that place again. Not after everything she lost to get out from under that last proverbial thumb.
Problem is, Bela loves Sam. How and when and why this happened is yet to be seen, but she does. He has more power over her than he’ll ever realize, and more than he’d ever use. That’s part of the reason why she loves him, even if he’ll never know it.
Because she loves Sam, the first tether to something real that she’s had in a long time, she does things she wouldn’t normally do. Takes risks she wouldn’t normally take. Turn down jobs she wouldn’t normally turn down. She plays less fast and loose with her own life and the lives of others and opts for the good rather than the advantage. Because she loves Sam, she finds herself thinking about the right thing to do, rather than weighing for the beneficial option.
Because she loves Sam, when he arrives at her door looking like he doesn’t know who to trust, and the world is making it too hard for him to find that right road again, she gives him something he can trust.
It’s a little ironic, but for some reason they both sleep better. The irony isn’t entirely lost on them, but then again, they’ve always been the type where it never really was.
516 words
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