Bela Talbot (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
enjoythe_ride) wrote2010-01-10 01:39 am
enjoythe_ride) wrote2010-01-10 01:39 am
[JMM] That which is escaped now is pain to come.
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paradisa after the current plot.]
All her life, Bela never had anywhere where she belonged, let alone anything that belonged to her.
Everything she ever valued, she lost. Her innocence, her family, her life—it all got yanked away from her, rudely and violently without a second thought. She’d spent the ten years after she made her deal running, searching for something that would guarantee her longer than those ten years that she never bothered to dig in, find a home for herself or a family. She was alone. And while she was miserable, she had convinced herself she was better off that way. As the years passed, she had less to lose so less was taken from her, but in the end, she’d lost the one thing that mattered.
In the beginning, she’d viewed the castle as a second chance. She was aware of the fickle nature of the beast, but so far, it hadn’t done anything to greatly wrong her in any way. In fact, it had probably given her far more than she’d ever have back home. Even with the losses, her death—nothing was permanent here. There was still plenty of room for happiness when it was over, because it was only two weeks, and everything would be back to the way it was.
However, because nothing was permanent, therein lay the problem. Nothing was permanent, not even her presence there, or that of her friends. She hadn’t really had friends before, not real ones, and she should have realized that when Ruby left. That was the first time where the castle had taken something from her that couldn’t be fixed, but she had taken a breath and tried to let it go. Ruby would be back. They’d have to start all over again, but they could get things back to where they were again. It would just take a little time.
Then the residents were forced to tear the castle to the ground, and she was dealt a powerful, more forceful reminder as to how temporary things truly were.
She wasn’t sure how she had felt about the matter. On the one hand, the castle had tried to brainwash them, forcing them to believe that they had never belonged anywhere else. It tried to rewrite history, making them believe that they had spent their whole lives here. That they never needed anything else. Bela was suddenly presented with a world with some semblance of permanence—where everything she needed was there, laid out for her. Her life, her home, and the people she cared about. The person she loved.
Not that she could admit it. Everything she loved in her life before the castle got taken from her, and in the infinite flux of Paradisa, she wasn’t entirely sure that it wouldn’t happen here, either. Eliot had become something unexpected, but not unwelcome. She’d never had anyone who actually wanted to take care of her before, let alone would, and now that she had it, she was happier than she had been in a long time. He was strong, consistent, and everything she’d never had. She didn’t want to think about losing it. In fact, so far she’d managed to avoid it. All it had taken was a day and a half of what she could consider to be a perfect existence being torn away from her to bring that realization to the front of her mind with a crash. Because if Eliot left, there was no guarantee that they could rebuild what they had before, and more to the point, she didn’t know if she could stomach it.
As she watched the castle come down from the window of the apartment, she realized that for the first time since she’d arrived here, she truly hated this place. And that wasn’t something she was sure she could live with.
639 words
paradisa after the current plot.]All her life, Bela never had anywhere where she belonged, let alone anything that belonged to her.
Everything she ever valued, she lost. Her innocence, her family, her life—it all got yanked away from her, rudely and violently without a second thought. She’d spent the ten years after she made her deal running, searching for something that would guarantee her longer than those ten years that she never bothered to dig in, find a home for herself or a family. She was alone. And while she was miserable, she had convinced herself she was better off that way. As the years passed, she had less to lose so less was taken from her, but in the end, she’d lost the one thing that mattered.
In the beginning, she’d viewed the castle as a second chance. She was aware of the fickle nature of the beast, but so far, it hadn’t done anything to greatly wrong her in any way. In fact, it had probably given her far more than she’d ever have back home. Even with the losses, her death—nothing was permanent here. There was still plenty of room for happiness when it was over, because it was only two weeks, and everything would be back to the way it was.
However, because nothing was permanent, therein lay the problem. Nothing was permanent, not even her presence there, or that of her friends. She hadn’t really had friends before, not real ones, and she should have realized that when Ruby left. That was the first time where the castle had taken something from her that couldn’t be fixed, but she had taken a breath and tried to let it go. Ruby would be back. They’d have to start all over again, but they could get things back to where they were again. It would just take a little time.
Then the residents were forced to tear the castle to the ground, and she was dealt a powerful, more forceful reminder as to how temporary things truly were.
She wasn’t sure how she had felt about the matter. On the one hand, the castle had tried to brainwash them, forcing them to believe that they had never belonged anywhere else. It tried to rewrite history, making them believe that they had spent their whole lives here. That they never needed anything else. Bela was suddenly presented with a world with some semblance of permanence—where everything she needed was there, laid out for her. Her life, her home, and the people she cared about. The person she loved.
Not that she could admit it. Everything she loved in her life before the castle got taken from her, and in the infinite flux of Paradisa, she wasn’t entirely sure that it wouldn’t happen here, either. Eliot had become something unexpected, but not unwelcome. She’d never had anyone who actually wanted to take care of her before, let alone would, and now that she had it, she was happier than she had been in a long time. He was strong, consistent, and everything she’d never had. She didn’t want to think about losing it. In fact, so far she’d managed to avoid it. All it had taken was a day and a half of what she could consider to be a perfect existence being torn away from her to bring that realization to the front of her mind with a crash. Because if Eliot left, there was no guarantee that they could rebuild what they had before, and more to the point, she didn’t know if she could stomach it.
As she watched the castle come down from the window of the apartment, she realized that for the first time since she’d arrived here, she truly hated this place. And that wasn’t something she was sure she could live with.
639 words